Should You Feel Lonely When You Are Isolated?
My therapist asked if I plan to start dating soon. I gave her a resounding no. The last relationship was a huge mistake and it was due to not wanting to be alone. Now, I am glad to be alone and have no desire to “get back out there.” She had concerns that I am isolated because I barely see my family and friends. It was like she read my mind because I have been thinking about that a lot. I am isolated but I am not lonely. Shouldn’t I feel lonely?
Majority of humans need to make connections. It doesn’t matter if they are an introvert, ambivert, or extrovert. I don’t feel alone because I do have my two teens. We try to do something every weekend, and so I have them. However, I can see the concern because one day they will start their lives, and I won’t have them to hang around with much anymore. I think the older you get, the harder it is to find new friends.
One of the women in my cohort is in her mid twenties, and she has a Sunday Fun group that gets together every Sunday to do something. My nephew who is around the same age has Dinner Clubs, Brunch Groups, etc. I have always felt like I don’t really fit with any group. I had my kids in my early twenties so while my friends had no kids and were able to create groups and do fun things together, my time was limited. I also didn’t fit in with the married couples who had their Wine Clubs, Dinner Parties, etc. because I didn’t have a spouse. Now my kids are teenagers, and my friends now have little kids. It also isn’t easy meeting your kids’ friends’ parents after you pass the elementary school age.
I decided to connect with people online. I decided to get on Reddit, and also joined a Facebook Group for Gratitude and Inspiration. It has helped because I am connecting with people who have similar experienced. For awhile, I have felt that I am the only one going through a few experiences, and now I realized that I’m not. It did feel good to have those connections, and I realized that it was something that I was missing.
I am not ready to join Meetup.com and meet people in real life, but eventually I’ll get there. For now, I am content where I am. However, I know that eventually I need to make some sort of real-life connections. One thing I do know is that dating is not something I am going to consider for a long time.