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Finding Meaning Growth

Should You Feel Lonely When You Are Isolated?

My therapist asked if I plan to start dating soon. I gave her a resounding no. My last relationship was a huge mistake, and it was due to not wanting to be alone. Now, I am glad to be alone and have no desire to “get back out there.” She had concerns that I am isolated because I barely see my family and friends. It was like she read my mind because I have been thinking about that a lot. I am solitary, but I am not lonely. Shouldn’t I feel alone?

The majority of humans need to make connections. It doesn’t matter if they are an introvert, ambivert, or extrovert. I don’t feel alone because I do have my two teens. We try to do something every weekend, and so I have them. However, I can see the concern because one day, they will start their lives, and I won’t have them to hang around with much anymore. I think the older you get, the harder it is to make new friends.

One of the women in my MBA cohort is in her mid-twenties, and she has a Sunday Fun group that gets together every Sunday to do something. My nephew, who is around the same age, has Dinner Clubs, Brunch Groups, etc. I have always felt like I don’t really fit with any group. I had my kids in my early twenties, so while my friends had no kids and were able to create groups and do fun things together, my time was limited. I also didn’t fit in with the married couples who had their Wine Clubs, Dinner Parties, etc. because I didn’t have a spouse. Now my kids are teenagers, and my friends now have little kids. It also isn’t easy meeting your kids’ friends’ parents after you pass the elementary school age.

I decided to connect with people online. I decided to get on Reddit and also joined a Facebook Group for Gratitude and Inspiration. It has helped because I am connecting with people who have similarly experienced. For a while, I have felt that I am the only one going through a few experiences, and now I realized that I’m not. It did feel good to have those connections, and I realized that it was something that I was missing.

I am not ready to join Meetup.com and meet people in real life, but eventually I’ll get there.  For now, I am content where I am. However, I know that eventually I need to make some sort of real-life connections.  One thing I do know is that dating is not something I am going to consider for a long time.

Featured Photo by Aleks Dahlberg on Unsplash

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